Officially, the vernal equinox is a month away, but I am already restless for change, growth...anything. It seems impossible that I've been in the studio since July - almost 8 months. Having had children, I know a little about gestation, and I suppose it's not coincidental that the coming of Spring corresponds to a 9 month period of change, development and, yes, some confusion.
I am overwhelmed. I have a huge, wonderful space, and all sorts of swimmy, unfocused ideas for using it. I've had classes and workshops, some ongoing, and it's great to have that energy there. My town is ripe for change, and I can help effect it, but I am plagued by fear and self-doubt, and that can be paralyzing. I feel...I feel...
I feel the same way I did as I approached the 9-month mark of my pregnancies. Excitement, fear, joy, grief, uncertainty, pride. The only thing certain was that change was imminent, and that nothing would be the same again.
So in these last days of winter, I am catching breath, gathering strength, and wondering how this birth will be.
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